A few reasons why I love my mother, Eve Manwaring

Photo souce: wishespoint.com

Short on money and strength, I pondered what I could do on Mother's Day this year for my mom. I pitched a story idea to the Deseret News in which I would share a few reasons why my mom is so dear to me. I expected the story proposal would be turned down because it would so individual-centric. I was thrilled, however, when they agreed.

The original article can be viewed here in both the Family and Mormon Times portions of the Deseret News.


Because of the personal nature of the story, I'm also including the body of the text here in my blog. With any luck, nobody will tell her until she gets this particular issue of the paper in Idaho (the Deseret News is based in Salt Lake City, Utah; the issue in which she is featured is published several days earlier in Utah than it is in Idaho). I'd love for her to open the paper, see her picture, and be surprised. I can only hope I've managed to adequately convey a few of my feelings.

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Picture of my mom taken by my sister, Lindsy Crossley

The next time you see a Volkswagen Beetle, I'd like you to think of my mother, Eve Manwaring.

You see, Mom has always loved Volkswagen Beetles. And several years ago she finally got her hands on one. It was her pride and joy — and I say that in the past tense for a reason.

When a woman ran a red light at 40-50 mph and hit me in my car, my life instantly changed. Not only did I suffer serious injuries that made me largely an invalid, I also had no access to reliable transportation for those times I was stable enough to travel.

As I wrestled with the reality of my situation that included a totaled vehicle, Mom asked if she could trade in her car to help me get a car. I fought her at first because I foolishly fight against most offers of help — especially when the help offered represents significant sacrifice. But I quickly came to see that it wasn’t a sacrifice in my mother’s eyes. It was an honor.

I was humbled to tears to see my mother jump at the opportunity to give up one of the only possessions she cared about.

Her actions in that particular case are no different than so many over the course of my entire life. She constantly seeks for ways to nurture and share her compassion with me, with my siblings and with anyone she sees in need.

What makes my mother’s love even more special to me is that she has done all this through decades of illness — even during times when her ailments led others to harshly judge her.

When she had three small children at home and a husband who was an invalid as a result of several major back surgeries, my mother did everything she could to be a supportive wife, a loving parent and a righteous daughter of God.

I remember one night when I was very young. Times were tough, but I didn’t know it. That night, we had marshmallows for dinner. My siblings and I thought it was like Christmas morning to have dessert for dinner. What we didn’t know was that skyrocketing medical bills combined with limited income and support from others created a situation where it was literally difficult to put food on the table. Yet my mother took a horrible situation in which she probably felt scared and depressed and made us feel safe and happy.

She has always been like that. Every single day of my life, she has dealt with severe physical pains and external circumstances that have left her in need of help from others — yet she most often sets aside her own needs to help others.

My mother is someone who lives to make the lives of others easier. My mother is someone who joys in the good news of the restored gospel and keeps the commandments of the Lord. My mother is someone who loves with unconditional love.

My mother is not mentioned by name with the righteous women in the scriptures. She is, however, mentioned more than once in my personal journal where I record only a small sampling of the words and actions that make her beautiful.

I am so grateful for a mother who has shared her love with so many, in so many ways, for so very long.

On this Mother’s Day, Mom — I want to shout to the world how dearly I love you. I’ll never be able to see a "slug-bug" without thinking of your pure, eternal, unconditional love.

Four free email subscriptions worth your time

Image Source: ocp.hul.harvard.edu/reading

More and more, it seems like a mark of intelligence in regards to knowledge consumption is not what you read - but what you choose not to. There seems to be a near-infinite supply of knowledge available that only grows with time. Yet even if one were to identify sources of knowledge that are significant, valid, and relevant, it would still take more time to keep up than there are hours in the day.

I have a reading schedule I like to keep to stay informed on a wide variety of topics, so except for the time affected by my car accident, I rotate from topics like biographies to history to economics to politics, etc. I even throw in pseudo-science writers like Malcolm Gladwell to keep things interesting.

While thinking on the topic this evening, I realized I have gradually whittled my free email subscriptions down to four sources - all of which I would recommend.

1. Knowledge@Wharton: This is a fantastic free source with a wide variety of topics. I subscribe to the general newsletter to keep things manageable, but there are more nuanced versions available as well. The information here is impressively wide-ranging, and the articles almost always present research and current events that are significant and new - and sometimes interpreted in fascinating ways. The newsletter is presented in a format that gives you a quick glance at the title and summary to know whether it's worth your time to click on the link for the full article. All in all, almost regardless of your field, this is worth your time. You can subscribe online at http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/ 
2. Utah Policy: Certainly both field and region-specific, this is tailored to a certain group of people. The daily email gives you headlines from all of the major papers and an impressive array of articles and research. A 5-minute skim will make sure you haven't missed anything of significance from the previous day - and there is plenty to see if you want to continue reading for an hour or two. The original aspects aren't always groundbreaking, but the email is worth the quick check for those times they are. A great source for bipartisan news in Utah. You can subscribe online at http://utahpolicy.com/
3. Governing Daily: Also field-specific, this daily email gives you glimpses into some of the most important governance issues from across the country. I routinely see articles in local and national sources that come out weeks, if not months, after they first show up here. A great source for public administrators. As with the Wharton newsletter, there are also more nuanced versions available (e.g., finance, health, human resources, etc.). You can subscribe online at http://forms.erepublic.com/gov-newsletter-subscribe
4. WLO United States Supreme Court Case Summary Service: A great source for summaries of Supreme Court decisions. The information can be technical if you're new to the legal field, but even if you are, it's worth trying out to see if you like it. Often, you'll find if you follow these summaries you'll know about case decisions even before the most legal or academic of your friends and colleagues. You can subscribe online at http://lists.willamette.edu/mailman/listinfo/wlo-ussc

* NOTE: None of these recommendations were solicited. These are my personal recommendations and do not constitute official endorsements by any organizations with which I am affiliated. 

On pain and reflection

Me and my beautiful angel of a daughter (2013)

I have heard stories - more than one - from men I trust and admire. In times of severe and prolonged pain, they are incapacitated and unable to perform their normal duties. During these periods of invalidity, they ponder, reflecting upon life and the eternities.

What strength!

During my own period of similar trial, the pains are often so severe I find reflection and meditation near, if not entirely impossible.

There have been blessed periods of relief where I find myself able to ponder. I have learned lessons for which I am grateful and that I will likely never forget.

Duration by itself also provides insights that I do not believe can be gained in any other way. This has been one of my blessings.

And yet today, on the Sabbath, as I fight through the pains and reflect on those who have meditated in similar or greater pains, I find myself in understandable - and understated - awe.

I am no masochist and there are times I am revolted by my own weakness that desires to trade relief from pain now for greater strength later, so intense is the agony at times. But perhaps that is one lesson of these trials. I have had professors and mentors many, but suffering provides insights that can only be gained by personal experience. It is partly for this reason I have gratitude for what I have experienced.

One day, I hope to have enough mastery over my entire self that I can ponder in the face of nearly-unbearable pains that never seem to end and demand all of my concentration.

For now, I continue in my efforts to bridge the gap separating the man I am from the man I desire to be.

And as undesirable and unwanted as these seasons of pain and distress may be, I strongly believe they are necessary to achieving that goal.

Here's to righteous, manly endurance now - and greater righteousness and capacity in the future.

Why a Mormon prayed for Pope Francis

Photo Source: news.yahoo.com

I was surprised to receive a news text update today that white smoke was billowing from the Sistine Chapel.  For many reasons, I suspected this dark smoke would be rising from the specially-installed chimney for many days, if not weeks to come.

For a new leader of the Catholic religion to be chosen on the second day of this very unique conclave was not what I had expected.

I turned on the television and waited with anticipation to hear who had been chosen by the participating cardinals. As the minutes of waiting added up, I found my mind turning to the feelings of the new pope.

As he was dressed in the clothing of the Catholic faith's leader, was he overwhelmed with humility?

As he greeted the cardinals, did he feel a new sense of burden?

As he prayed before greeting the mass gathered at St. Peter's Square, was her terrified?

I would not be surprised if he felt all of these emotions - and more - in grand intensity.

As the name of Jorge Mario Bergoglio was announced along with his chosen papal name of Francis, I knew instantly the history of this conclave was even more historic. An Argentinian, Pope Francis is the first non-European Pope in history - though the Apostle Peter regarded by Catholics as their first leader was not a European native.

I felt a surge of excitement as I heard Pope Francis begin to speak, recognizing the beautiful Italian language I learned while serving as a Mormon missionary in Rome, Italy.

As the pope requested the prayers of his audience, I watched the heads of those gathered in Vatican City bow in reverence.

I found myself doing the same, offering a formal prayer that the new Pope be aided to influence his followers to do good - in emulation of the Savior of us all, "who went about doing good" (Acts 10:38). And though we do not share the same religion (I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), it was a sweet experience for me.

We do not all share the same religious beliefs. But we are all children of the same Heavenly Father who possesses love in such perfection He is referred to in the New Testament as love itself (1 John 4:8).

There is much in the way of doctrine that separates the Mormon from the Catholic. Yet there is also a great deal that unites us, including the privilege to pray for each other with "love unfeigned" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:41).

I echo the words of a statement issued earlier today by the leaders of my Church that I suspect also mirror the feelings of Catholic leaders:

We have been honored and pleased as our two faiths have worked together on issues of faith, morality and service to the poor and needy. We value the relationships that have been formed in these joint efforts and are grateful for the good that has been accomplished. 

May there be a great deal more of these unified desires and efforts between our two faiths as we seek to live the great commandment to "love one another" (John 13:34; see also Mosiah 4:15).

Dallyn Vail Bayles and the healing power of music

Photo Source: cdbaby.com

A couple of weeks ago I was provided with a complimentary copy of the latest album by Dallyn Vail Bayles in exchange for writing a review of the CD for the Deseret News.

I have long had a love and appreciation for music, but it is only recently that I have come to rely on it as a source of healing. As I try to cope with the injuries from my accident, I have tried turning to a variety of sources to add to the effects of medication, and soon, to replace medication entirely as a remedy for severe pain. Among the most effective options I have found are weight-lifting, quiet (and long) walks, and pondering with quiet and uplifting music in the background.

This isn't an album that I can afford right now, and so I was thrilled to be given the opportunity to write a review in exchange for a copy of Bayles's album, Some Enchanted Evening.

I have both of Bayles's prior solo albums. Each of those CD's focused on spiritual themes, and Bayles's spirituality seemed to enhance the power of his music.

This album focuses entirely on Broadway musicals. I was disappointed in a few songs that seemed flat and unoriginal, but most of the album is vintage Bayles. I always stress when I have to bring attention to anything negative in a review, but hope the very short criticism in my review neither offends Bayles nor makes anyone think twice about purchasing his album. For the most part, Some Enchanted Evening is superb.

And it is certainly helping me in my healing process.

Bayles is quickly becoming one of my favorite male vocalists, and as I consciously approach music as a healing balm, I find Michael Ballam vindicated in his declaration, "Inspired music has great power to heal the human spirit and body."

By the books: How will you measure your life?

Each year, Clayton Christensen finishes his class at Harvard Business School by giving a lecture on the lessons he has learned during his life. In 2010, he was asked to give a summary of those lessons to the entire student body. Christensen's lessons were soon being referred to in academic journals and news outlets around the world - and for good reason.

How Will Your Measure Your Life? is not your typical book about success. The authors deliberately shy away from providing answers and instead give guiding principles to help readers design their own solutions to various personal and professional challenges. After reading this book, I consciously set aside time each week to review decisions I have made and anticipate making. These times of quiet meditation help me determine how I want to measure my life - and how well I am doing in meeting that intimidating goal.

Christensen and his coauthors, James Allworth and Karen Dillon, explore the pathways and pitfalls of success with an impressive combination of academic soundness, vivid examples and a friendly narrative voice. The book is divided into three sections devoted to finding happiness in careers and relationships, and a surprisingly apropos section entitled, "Staying Out of Jail."

I give How Will You Measure Your Life? a well-deserved 4.5 out of 5 stars. The book deserves a place in the cannon of success literature next to Stephen Covey's Seven Habits. Seasons veterans and new professionals alike will benefit from the thought-provoking principles and examples set forth by Christensen, Allworth, and Dillon.

The preceding text is taken verbatim from my brief review in the December 2012 edition of Utah Business.

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Postscript

The most significant - and annoying - flaw of this book is its very cheap paper. The principles found inside the covers are well worth the cost of the book, but the paper is of such poor quality I felt like someone was scratching their fingernails on a chalkboard each time I touched a page.

As much as I am determined to hold fast to my love for books in the traditional sense, the paper quality is so poor in this case I recommend you consider purchasing this title in ebook format.

Using science to fight pain and ease my "Pawn Stars" guilt

"Pawn Stars" employee Austin "Chumlee" Russell

Bucking the overall positive trend of the past six weeks, the pains from the accident over the last 10 days or so have revved up to a challenging degree. With the pains often come very long nights. Right now, I'm working on my third night without any sleep in the last 8 days.

After working up an article on Utah State Coach Gary Andersen's apparent move to Wisconsin, I've been watching Pawn Star reruns. I don't quite understand the addictive nature of the show, but it's a good show to watch if you need a combination of vegging and entertainment, with a dash of education.

But when you're watching several hours in a row to help push aside the pain, you start to feel guilty about wasting time (There's an interesting comment Max Weber would find interesting given my situation). So, I worked up a little Excel chart and am tracking some variables with each of the sales that I find interesting. It makes me feel a little less guilty about needing to use the television to get through some of the pains.

I think I'll keep it up for a few months and then post my findings for fun. I expect a degree of the show is scripted, and I've already come across at least three instances involving (1) restored items that weren't the same as the item being restored, (2) an item that appeared to be a prop which had changed from the beginning of the show to the end, and (3) a guitar apparently borrowed from another store. (I should note that these observations echo blog postings with accompanying videos allowing viewers to make up their own minds; I'll try to track down the links again and insert them later.) Another site demonstrated at least one of the "customers" appeared to be an actor who had been hired for the part.

Still, it's a maybe-scripted, maybe-not reality show that isn't the typical trash and is healthier than binging on M&M's. And strangely addictive.

My results will be pseudo-scientific, and have no validity for the reasons I just mentioned... but I think it might be a little bit of fun nonetheless.